I don’t think I’ve ever meshed well with co-workers, but always manage to befriend a superior/supervisor.
I don’t want to form new friendships because I don’t want to stay here and therefore leave them like my friends have done to me. Or am afraid of them doing the same.
I’m afraid to say I love someone, or even get into a proper relationship for that matter, because the last time I did, they took advantage and I lost myself.
I live with my family in the house I grew up in, but feel like I live in a super large apartment with God damn nosy roommates.
I somehow manage to lose all the friends I ever make and cause people to not want to talk to me.
I hate, absolutely HATE, being lonely all the time and I’m an introvert. When I make plans with people they are more likely than not to stand me up.
I have good days and bad days and today is a bad one where I feel completely trapped by my life with no where to go. And I feel like the only suggestions I will get when asking for help will be “move out” “get a different job” “go out on the weekends” “make friends”. Winter is coming and I will be living in my car if some one doesn’t take me in and expect no rent because almost all of my income goes towards my student loans. I can’t get a different job, I’ve tried, and I can’t be job-less. I can’t afford to go out every week to try and make friends. And making friends isn’t easy for me.
I hate this. I hate me. FUCK.